Monday, November 21, 2005

Yo Mama!

This is an article I wrote some time ago. I am reposting it here now because some people need to read it.

What many of you probably do not know is that I served in a swiftboat under Kerry during Nam. I feel that I can keep quiet no longer, when I know a truth, a truth so earth shattering that it could make the difference in the election Tuesday, it could make all the difference in the world.

I will tell my story here, among my good friends at ******. I feel safe here and comfortable and my therapist says I need to feel that way before I open myself to what I know will be a deluge of hate and rabid fury from the left.

You see, while stationed in the boat one Christmas, we, we....oh Hell, I'll just say it. Kerry decided he wanted to cross the border into Cambodia because he had heard of a mythical whorehouse just the other side called the Putang Bucket. He had heard of it God only knows where, but he had a mission, a personal mission, mythical putang. He told us stories, and God forgive us but we were young then, so young. We were in a strange land, far from home, and dammit, we trusted that bastard. We trusted him with our lives, and that night we decided to trust him with our peckers too.

So off we went, with Jefferson Starship playing on the radio, with the smell of mythical pussy almost in our noses, we were that close to the border already. I remember the faces most, the faces of my brothers, for that is what we were that day, brothers. We were going into certain danger, but Kerry was set on seeing for himself, the mythical Cambodian whore, PussyForYou. Ping-pong balls, Kerry said with a smile, and I can still in my memory see him standing there, the moonlight glinting off his teeth as he smiled and said, Ping-pong balls, son, Ping-pong balls.

We actually came within sight of the brothel, a huge wooden rambling structure built half out over the river. It was all lit up with tiny lights, and it looked to me like heaven. We could hear the siren calls of the whores, Hey Joe, Got Five Dollar??? And, Hey Joe, Got Chocolate??? My penis trembled in anticipation, but suddenly, so suddenly that I don't really remember it happening, I was in the water and we were being fired upon.

Kerry, that bastard, jumped in the water and started swimming for the whorehouse, screaming about PussyForYou and how he had five dollars!!!! I grabbed him, he turned and growled at me, Back in the boat you son of a bitch, the pussy is for me!!! He grabbed me and threw me in the boat and then as Charlie poured from the Putang Bucket in a screaming spurt of murderous jizm he realized that his dream of bagging a mythical Cambodian whore was dashed. He jumped back in the boat, yelling stuff about saving me and lets get out of here.

When we got back, he realized if he told where we were he would be divorced and court martialed before he could weasle his way out of it. So he lied. He said that we were five miles inside Nam when we were attacked. He forgot his own story once or twice and that is what makes me the maddest. I had to keep silent and virgin for far too long. He promised us pussy and gave us only lies. He needs to admit what happened that night.

We all do. I have been the first, may others follow my lead. God Bless America.

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