Thursday, November 24, 2005

Happy Thanksgiving!

At this time I would like to take a moment to relfect upon all the things I have to be thankful for this year.

First I would like to thank Jesus for always being here for me and for being so cool to hang with and for making such great tacos. You da G, X man. Fo real.

I am thankful for being Steerpikepie, handsome Steerpikepie, intelligent Steerpikepie, witty Steerpikepie, charming Steerpikepie, sexy Steerpikepie, funny Steerpikepie, just an all 'round wonderful and perfect person. I'm sure I will figure prominently in the Thanksgiving prayers of many, today. I'm just that great.

I am thankful that Shoelimpy the Bigfoot ate way too much candy last night while he surfed porn and is now very, very sick. Therefore there may be turkey enough for all tonight, without garbage guts inhaling everything but the bones, and then cracking the bones and sucking the marrow out. I keep telling him bones aren't twinkies but he doesn't speak English very well and just sits there smiling at me with his vacant idiot smile full of chunky drool.

I am thankful for being a Viking. Vikings are cool and so am I. Being a Viking, Thanksgiving is a very special holiday for me, as it falls on the day of the Feast of Thor. On this day my ancestors would boil the babes of Xian captives in their mother's milk, and the roast them over an open fire on the Fjords with the sun rising through the blood smoke...oh the undescribable beauty haunts my other memories bringing to my dreams the olden days of hunting the Irish along the cliffs of Dover! I must remember to make an offering to Thor today, I think the Target down the street sells baby Xian shaped Peeps.

I am thankful for the smell of roasting turkey today, and for all the thanksgiving things we Americans do on this day, varied and many customed as we are. Football is a good thing. As is beer. Tomorrow the Aggies get their asses handed to them by UT and it will make me laugh to see their "cheerleaders" grabbing their balls to feel the pain of the players as they get WHOOPed by the Longhorns. :)

Lastly, I am thankful for G.W. Bush, the right hand of Jesus, used as a sword and also to flip the tortillas, the bestest most greatest man to ever live.

Now I would like to offer virtual grace for all you heathens reading this:

God is great
God is good
Let us thank Him
For our fuud.
Jesus Christ, Let's Eat!!!!!


Post a Comment

<< Home