Monday, October 10, 2005

Cancuckistanian Thanksgiving

The Canucks are always making more reasons for we red-blooded Americans to hate them, aren't they? I mean, being a bunch of pothead communists who won't give us their water or let us fly missles in their airspace isn't enough, they have to go even farther to piss us off.

What did we ever do to the Canadians anyway? All we did was offer them the chance to enter the good life and become a part of us, which they idiotically rejected while they were freezing their fat Canadian asses off in their igloos pretending that they liked living in a frozen wasteland. And that was before they even had hockey games to get drunk at and start fights during!

But now it seems that the Canucks want to steal one of our most proud of holidays: Thanksgiving. I don't remember no Pilgrims landing in Halifax and eating three day feasts with the Indians, but they think they have the right to celebrate our holiday? And not only that, it comes a month earlier than the One True Thanksgiving, so that the world thinks that Canada's Thanksgiving comes first!

These Canadians are really pushing the envelope. Their only defense is that they are so worthless that their country isn't even worth invading, as long as their imbecile government keeps giving us all the natural resources we want at low low prices (Thank you, NAFTA). But what Americans want to live in that God-forsaken hellhole? I can't think of too many people in Florida that want to move to fucking Winnipeg. Maybe an Alaskan couldn't tell the difference, but they are insane to begin with.

Canada, fuck you. Stop trying to steal our holidays, why don't you come up with your own? I mean, I know you don't have the creativity of a pumpkin (who else but a nation of drunken dullards would name a holiday Civic Holiday?) But couldn't you have, like, Hockey Appreciation Day or something? National Beer Day? (Or is that every day in Canada?) National let's all get drunk and smoke pot and let all the men get married because we love tolerance and are a bunch of Communists with free health care Day? You must have something in your culture you can be proud of so you don't have to keep ripping off your betters. I mean, really.

Happy Columbus Day to all.

2 Comments:

Blogger Spill The Beans said...

the canuckistanis piss me off. God can't they learn f'ing english, for Christ's sake? Friggin hosers.

7:25 PM  
Blogger Steer Pike Pie said...

They cannot learn f'ing English because they are PC, pinko, neo-tolerant assholes.

And not only can they not learn f'king English, but they measure distance in hours.

And what's up with their sissy pants metric system, is what I wanna know. Do they think they are better than us or something?

Stupid Canuks, they even have Homo milk, did you know that???

11:53 AM  

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