Friday, April 21, 2006

Chickenshits

I just got an email from my sweet little Annie. She linked me to a site where Bass-O-Matic or some lame named dick was going on and on about how he wants to kick my ass.

I'm like, RIGHT ON!!! Let's get this show ON THE ROAD!

BRING IT ON STUD MUFFIN! I'M GONNA RIP YOUR HEAD OFF AND USE IT FOR A BOWLING BALL! I'M GONNA LET MY DOGS SHIT DOWN YOUR THROAT!! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR AN EXCUSE TO SHEAR ME SOME HIPPY ASS AND I'M ALREADY HALF DRUNK!

YOU'RE GONNA GET SOME IF YOU MESS WITH STEERPIKEPIE, ASSFACE! YOU'RE GONNA GET IT HARD, DEEP PURPLE AND CHEAP!

I LOVE THE CRACK OF A BREAKING NOSE, IT MAKES ME ROCK HARD! YOU COME ON DOWN TO TEXAS, JACK, I'LL BE WAITIN'. WHEN ME AND MY BUDDIES GET FINISHED WITH YOU, YOU'RE GONNA BE REAMED OUT, BABY, CAN YOU GIVE ME A SOOOOOOOUUUUUEEEEEEEEEE?????

20 Comments:

Blogger Shai said...

Make him squeal. :)

7:51 PM  
Blogger Pinko Punko said...

I heard he already kicked your ass. Not saying anything, just what I heard. Basically all over the place

11:35 PM  
Blogger Steer Pike Pie said...

Thanks for the tip, Pinko. Are you a commie, Pinko? I think you are. I think you're a pansy-assed traitor of a communist, maggot. I bet you're a skinny little twerp, aren't you? You probably sit at home in your Grandmother's basement and jerk off into her blue, lightly scented kleenex while you watch sex-line infomercials...you do, don't you Pinko? You make me sick. You and everyone like you.

As for the big mouth bragging how he kicked my ass, now I'm getting angry. Now I'm starting to see red. You know what it means when a bull sees red, BASSMAN????

IT MEANS YOU'RE GONNA GET THE HORNS, OH YEAH, YOU'RE GONNA BE STANDING AROUND WITH YOUR LITTLE PUSSY FRIENDS BEING ALL "I KICKED STEERPIKEPIE'S ASS" AND THAT WHEN I DROP FROM THE SKY LIKE A NINJA, BABY. THAT'S WHEN YOU HEAR THE BUZZZZZZZ OF MY SHEARS AS YOU REALIZE ALL ESCAPE HAS BEEN CUT OFF, THERE IS NO WAY OUT AND YOUR FRIENDS HAVE DESERTED YOU.

Now I'm not just gonna shave your head, hippy. Now I'm gonna shave your ASS too. LITERALLY!!

OH I LIKE ME A SMOOTH HIPPY ASS!!!! GET SOME!!!!!!!!!

10:29 AM  
Blogger AnnieAngel said...

LOL, you're still hard core, baby. :)

2:39 PM  
Blogger elendil said...

Well, Defender of Annie, you might want to swing by her blog right now, because she's getting shit-faced, and not just for fun.

10:42 PM  
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10:16 AM  
Blogger jexter said...

You really suck for not posting more often.

1:26 AM  
Blogger AnnieAngel said...

Don't poke the bear, Jex.

And anyway, who cares if he posts or not, he's nothing but a drunken idiot.

Aren't you, Steer? I bet you're drunk right now.

12:24 PM  
Blogger van.mojo said...

Oh ... you are special...

Tell me, is it tough typing with only one hand and your eyes rolling up in the back of your head?

How many monitors and keyboards have you had to replace by now...

5:03 PM  
Blogger Steer Pike Pie said...

*sniff* I smell me some AnnieAngel, gracing the pages of Steerpikepie's lonely abode. What's the matter baby, need to GET SOME??? Missing a REAL man?

Who's this Jex guy, anyway?

5:55 PM  
Blogger jexter said...

"Who's this Jex guy, anyway?"

Just someone who's praying for your immortal soul, that's all.

And Annie? Remember: "Yea, though I walk in the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil..."

...'cause I'm the meanest son of a bitch in the valley.

9:56 PM  
Blogger Steer Pike Pie said...

You're mean are ya? You think you've got what it takes? You think you're HARD CORE?

I don't think you are, I think you're a soft-handed, office dwelling, never been in a fight in your life waste of testosterone. Does that make you mad?

Gear UP, baby. It's ON! I'm charging up my shears, OH YEAH!

9:20 AM  
Blogger jexter said...

Oh yeah,get them shears good and charged up, Slick, 'cause I'm gonna shove 'em so far up your ass they're gonna shear off your UGLY FUCKIN' MUSTACHE!!!

god-DAMN I am pumped for this!!! It's been WAY too long since I kicked me some thick-skulled mouth-breathin' knuckle-draggin' redneck's ASS!!!!!

Sheee-it. You better not be wasting my time, Sport. If you turn out to be some pencil-necked geek, whimperin' "Oh, please don't hurt me!", I'll put a round turn and two half hitches in your scrotum.

9:45 PM  
Blogger Steer Pike Pie said...

I have a neck like a BULL, boyscout. My balls are so big I have to rent a U-haul to cart them around. I'm 275 pounds of PURE Viking muscle. You don't stand a chance.

I admire your courage coming here though, pard. You're ok. It won't get you any points with Annie, but it plays bigtime with me.

Now LISTEN UP, furball, if you wanna run with the BIG DOGS, you gotta stop pissing like a PUP. You gotta GET HARD. You've got to be READY. Are you ready? Are you HARD?

10:47 PM  
Blogger Steer Pike Pie said...

Sometimes I wonder what it's all for, why do I work so hard to spread the message of the CRA, why am I called to be so HARD CORE and then I remember....it's for the FUTURE OF AMERICA and WESTERN CIVILIZATION!!!

GET SOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10:52 PM  
Blogger Steer Pike Pie said...

I'm really a nice guy, under it all. Once I gave a ride to an illegal and didn't kick his ass.

True story.

10:55 PM  
Blogger jexter said...

Since it appears that we share Viking blood, it may not be necessary to kick your ass.

I too have the enourmous Viking testicles. Mine produce so much testosterone that I have to have it dialyzed out of my blood once a week so that I don't become freakishly huge. I donate the excess testosterone to pitiful limp-dick Canadian posers like shoewinky to keep them from going totally Nancy-boy.

Fuck.

I'm out of beer.

Time to go pillage the neighbors.

Because of my frequent raids, they've become quite docile. When the hear my Viking horn, now they usually put all their red meat and alcohoic beverages on the front porch and then lock themselves in the bathroom.

Fuckin' pussies.

12:31 AM  
Blogger jexter said...

Oh yeah, and you're story about not kicking the illegals ass was real heart-warming. It seems that you, like me, try to do what you can for the less fortunate non-norse humans.

Within reason.

VALHALLA!!!

12:43 AM  
Blogger Steer Pike Pie said...

Shoelumpy is a lot of things and none of them are anything I'd want to be, but he isn't a Canuk. He's sitting down there is Georgia right now, losing his mind and taking it out on poor, sweet Miss Annie. I, for my part, am finding the whole thing hilarious. He's pathetic and she deserves it.

But I digress.

A TRUE CHRISTIAN WARRIOR OF THE RESISTANCE MUST BE:

OVER 6 FEET TALL

BLONDE WITH BLUE EYES

OVER 250 POUNDS OF PURE MUSCLE

HARD CORE

DEDICATED TO THE PRESERVATION OF WESTERN SOCIETY AND CULTURE

CHRISTIAN

Is that you, Jex???? IS IT???

10:19 AM  
Blogger Steer Pike Pie said...

I hate the KKK. Sometimes when me and my buddies get drunk, we crash their meetings dressed in blackface and carrying machine guns. It's fun to watch them run away, screaming as we yell

"BOOGA BOOGA BOOGA!! BOOGIE BOOGIE BOOGIE!!!!"

They're just not HARD CORE.

10:23 AM  

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